


Thank You For Trusting Me

by doing_her_best



Category: The Prom - Sklar/Beguelin/Martin
Genre: F/F, Hurt/Comfort, tw: implied abuse, tw: implied violence, wlw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-06 01:16:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20498483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doing_her_best/pseuds/doing_her_best
Summary: The first time it happens, Alyssa doesn’t think anything of it.The second time it happens, Alyssa notices, just barely.





	Thank You For Trusting Me

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a little sadder than things I've written in the past, please note the tws.  
Rated T for some language and a slightly steamier make out session because it can't all be sad!

The first time it happens, Alyssa doesn’t think anything of it.

They’re in the band closet, and Alyssa is grimacing as she shows off her new necklace to Emma. 

“It’s very, um, shiny,” Emma says as she stares at it, the charm pressing lightly into Alyssa’s collarbone.

“And oh-so subtle,” Alyssa drawls with more than a hint of sarcasm. 

Emma smirks as she examines the giant silver cross resting on her girlfriend’s chest. “Oh, definitely. And she wants you to wear it everywhere?”

“Everywhere,” Alyssa moaned. “She said it’s a symbol of my devotion and purity.”

“_Oh my god.” _

“I know.”

“Well, you know, your mom isn’t here.”

“She has spies everywhere,” Alyssa grumbled. 

“You’re being paranoid. Just take the damn thing off and put it back on before you go home.”

“You’re right,” Alyssa says, spinning around and lifting up her hair. “Can you get it for me?”

Emma leans in and lightly pulls the thin chain away from Alyssa’s neck, her fingers fumbling slightly as she locates the clasp. She lets her index finger trace a small circle at the top of Alyssa’s spine before undoing the clasp and reaching around the gather the delicate silver, letting it pool in one hand. 

“Here you go, Miss Purity,” Emma says. She offers Alyssa the necklace when her girlfriend spins around to face her. 

“Don’t you _ ever _ call me that,” Alyssa protests, snatching the necklace away. 

“Hey, hey, I was just kidding,” Emma says with an impish grin. “I know how, well, _ impure _ you can be behind closed doors.”

Alyssa returns a playful scowl. “Let’s see how you like it,” Alyssa says, quickly reaching over and lunging towards her girlfriend, intent on wrapping the necklace around her. 

When Alyssa swipes her fingers across Emma’s neck, Emma swiftly twists away. She expected Emma to laugh, but she just looks uncomfortable.

“Hey,” Emma says. “Not cool.”  
  
Alyssa sticks her tongue out. “See, it’s not so fun."

Emma nods, looking like she’s far away. Before she can say anything else, the bell rings, making both girls sigh. They dread the end of lunch more than anything else. “See you after cheer practice?” Emma says, leaning forward expectantly.

“Yeah, see you,” Alyssa says, giving her a quick peck on the lips. Emma nods before slipping out the door, her fingers lightly tracing the spot on her neck Alyssa had touched.

Alyssa watches her leave, not recognizing the gesture for what it is. It doesn’t register in her head that as odd. Her own neck is sensitive, and they were being silly, so Emma twisting away isn’t strange.

* * *

The second time it happens, Alyssa notices, just barely.

It’s the best kind of lazy Saturday. Betsy is gone for the day, and the two of them are lounging around the house in sweats. After a big banana chocolate chip pancake breakfast, they are cuddled up on the couch under a fuzzy grey blanket. Alyssa is half-watching a movie while Emma has her nose deep in a book, lying on top of her. Alyssa is tracing lazy patterns up and down Emma’s arms and shoulders with her fingertips, relishing the little subconscious shivers she feels when she ventures too close to Emma’s chest. 

Alyssa thinks that right here, right now, is absolute bliss. Every so often she places a gentle kiss on her girlfriend’s head, her mind wandering away from the movie she is supposed to be watching.

Without thinking, her fingers trace a little higher, skimming the soft skin on the side of Emma’s neck- 

-and she feels Emma sharply flinch under her.

Alyssa feels the jostle and looks down at Emma, who suddenly has gone tense. She draws her hand away as if she had been shocked. “Everything okay?”

“Mhm,” Emma mumbles an affirmative, still tense. 

“Did I hurt you?”

“No, you’re fine,” Emma answers. But her body still feels on edge. 

“Okay…” Alyssa says, and she returns her hand to Emma’s arm to begin lightly rubbing again. Slowly but surely, she feels Emma relax again, her held breath releasing. 

_ Weird. _

* * *

It happens again, a two weeks later.

They are in the band closet again, feeling a little more PG-13 than previously. Their moments of privacy were few and far between, and they needed to enjoy this time while they had it. To that end, Alyssa was relishing the feeling of Emma’s lips on her own as the two held each other close, grabbing onto each other as if holding on for dear life. 

When the bell rings, signaling the end of lunch, Emma pulls away from the kiss, just an inch. “What do you have next?”

“Free period,” Alyssa says breathlessly, her eyes begging Emma for the same.

Emma sighs with relief. “I have gym. I can ditch.”

Alyssa grabs Emma’s face and pulls her closer. “Oh, thank god,” she breathes as she leans in again. Emma moans as her hands climb up Alyssa’s back, grabbing the back of her shirt as she feels Alyssa slip her tongue into her mouth. 

Soon, their hips are pressed tightly up against each other, and their hearts are racing as things get more and more heated. They both know they can’t go too far, not on school grounds with the risk of being caught at any second. But _ god _, it all feels so good.

When Alyssa pulls aways after a few minutes, Emma whines slightly at the loss of contact, but she sighs contentedly when she feels Alyssa placing gentle kisses along her jawline. She starts at Emma’s chin and moves further back until she is lightly sucking on the soft skin below Emma’s ear. She can hear Emma’s breath quickening, but Alyssa is determined not to leave a hickey (Emma’s shirt wouldn’t be able to hide it), so she moves just an inch lower-

-causing Emma to flinch and reflexively shove her away.

Alyssa lets out a surprised yelp as she stumbles away, losing her balance and swaying for just a moment.

“I’m so sorry!” Emma blurts out, horrified. She grabs onto Alyssa’s arms to stop her from falling to the ground, her eyes full of terror.

“I’m fine,” Alyssa says, trying to sound casual as she takes in the bizarre situation. She stares at Emma’s face, wide-eyed and frantic. “Did I do something that wasn’t okay?”

Emma shakes her head hurriedly, not letting go of her grip on Alyssa’s arms. “No, you're fine. I’m so sorry,” she repeats, her mouth slightly gaping.

Alyssa stares at her, still trying to understand what just happened. She looks down at her arms and Emma’s hands, still holding tight. “Em, are you sure you’re okay? Is something wrong?”

Emma’s eyes drop down as she realizes she’s still holding on. She quickly lets go of Alyssa’s arms and takes a step backwards. “It’s nothing,” she says simply.

“It’s obviously not nothing.”

“I… uh-”

“Em, you can tell me if something’s bothering you,” Alyssa encourages. She gives Emma a soft smile, trying to be as comforting as she can, but her girlfriend still looks tense. 

“I just…. I don’t like people touching my neck,” Emma says finally. She looks as if she might cry.

“Okay,” Alyssa says, suppressing a small laugh. _Is that all?_ “That’s totally fine! I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. I won’t kiss your neck if you don’t like it.”

“Okay.” Emma smiles back at her, but it doesn’t meet her eyes. Her brow is still furrowed with worry.

“Emma,” Alyssa says seductively, taking a step towards her girlfriend. “There are plenty more fun places on your body to touch.” She slinks her arm around Emma’s waist, pulling her in before planting a deep kiss on her lips.

“Ohhh,” Emma sighs, her anxiety starting to fade away. 

“Like… maybe here?” Alyssa whispers as her hand starts to wander lower down Emma’s back. This isn’t unfamiliar territory for them, but she still hears Emma gasp when her hand lightly reaches under the waistband of her jeans. Emma relaxes and leans in as the two start to kiss more passionately, Emma whispering words of encouragement as Alyssa’s hands start to travel further down. She can feel Emma smiling against her mouth, telling her to keep going, so she does. Fifteen minutes, two removed shirts, and a few undone buttons later, Emma has almost forgotten their earlier snafu. 

But Alyssa sure hasn’t. 

* * *

They don’t get to spend the night together often, but when they do, it’s amazing.

Alyssa had been at a party with Kaylee and Shelby, but she quickly grew bored and started texting Emma about maybe slipping away. It was easy for her to leave when everyone was watching Nick do a keg stand; Emma drove over to pick her up (meeting her two blocks from the party, so no one would suspect anything). 

It was simple enough to sneak Alyssa into the house; Emma just waited until Betsy had gone to brush her teeth before she dashed into Emma’s bedroom. It wasn’t that she wasn’t accepting of Alyssa; two teenagers alone behind a closed door at night was just a bit much for her to handle. Not that they were_ there _ yet, but it was still so nice to fall asleep in each other’s arms. 

Now, the two were snuggled under Emma’s comforter, their hands intertwined. Alyssa has assumed the big spoon position, and nothing makes her feel calmer than hearing the slow rhythm of Emma’s breath. She loved everything about their sleepovers: wearing one of Emma’s oversized shirts for pajamas, the scent of the fabric softener on Emma’s sheets, the warmth of having her girlfriend curled up next to her. She can’t think of anything in the world that makes her feel safer.

She can feel herself drifting away into sleep, and without thinking about it, she places a gentle kiss on the inside of Emma’s neck.

Emma reacts like she has been stabbed, making a strangled noise from the back of her throat and jumping away from Alyssa to the other side of the bed. She rolls over to face Alyssa, eyes filled with panic, her arms outstretched in front of her for protection. As if she thought Alyssa was trying to attack her. 

Alyssa stares at her in the darkness, dumbstruck. “I…I-”

“I’m sorry!” Emma blurts out defensively. “I… I _ told _you I don’t like it when you kiss my neck!”

“Emma, I…” Alyssa stammers, trying to think of what to say.

“I _ told you _ I don’t like it!” Emma whimpers, sounding terrified. Her arms are still outstretched in front of her, trembling fiercely.

“I’m sorry! I wasn’t thinking. I was half asleep and forgot.”

“I don’t like it,” Emma whimpers again, her voice shaky.

Alyssa's brow furrows. “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why don’t you like it?”

Emma freezes, and Alyssa quickly reaches to turn on the lamp. With the light on, she can see that Emma’s eyes are shining with unshed tears. “Emma, I think there’s something you're not telling me.”

“Wh-what? No, I-”

“I just gave you a tiny kiss, and you acted like I was going to murder you!”

“You surprised me!” Emma protests, tears threatening to overflow.

“That’s not how normal people respond to being kissed,” Alyssa argues.

“What, are you saying I’m not normal?” Emma shoots back.

“No, I-”

“No, you said exactly what you meant. Everyone in town is already saying it, you might as well say it to. I’m not normal, I’m a lesbian, a freak of nature, and even my own girlfriend-”

“_Emma,” _ Alyssa says firmly. She grabs Emma’s hands to stop them from shaking. “I’m sorry, that’s not at all what I meant. I’m just… concerned. I think there’s something going on that you’re keeping from me. And I’m worried you’re not okay.” 

Emma pulls her hands away and rolls over so she isn't facing Alyssa anymore. She reaches for her stuffed sloth and clutches it tightly in tense silence. 

“Okay,” Alyssa says finally. “Look, I’m not going to force you to tell me if you’re not ready. But know that when you _ are _ ready, I’m here for you, no matter what it is. And I won’t judge you for it, whatever it is.”

There’s silence for a few minutes, save a few sad sniffles, before Emma rolls back over. “Can you… turn off the light? I don’t know if I can look at you when I tell you.”

Alyssa stared at her, confused, before rolling back over to flick off the lights. She rolls back, trying to make out Emma's face in the darkness as she clears her throat and begins to speak. “It was the day I came out, the day my parents told me to leave. My dad, he was so mad, he started throwing things and then…”

* * *

By the time she is finished talking, silent tears are running down both their cheeks, visible even in the dark. 

“Emma,” Alyssa whimpers, unable to say anything else.

“It’s okay,” Emma says back, sniffling. 

“_No, _ it’s not okay,” Alyssa says firmly. “You know that, right?” 

Emma nods, more tears cascading down her cheeks. “Should I not have told you?”

“I’m glad you told me,” Alyssa said honestly, her breath shaking. “I’m glad you feel safe enough with me to share that. But I’m… I just can’t believe your dad could do that to you.”

Emma swallows, her breath caught in her throat. “When you touch my neck, it all just comes flooding back. I feel like I can’t breathe again.”

“I’m … so, so sorry, baby. I feel awful.” 

“It’s not your fault,” Emma says, her breath catching in her throat and a sob bubbles out.

Alyssa leans forward to wipe some away with the fleshy part of her thumb.

“Emma Nolan, you are the most beautiful person in the entire world,” Alyssa says, choking back sobs. “As long as I’m around, no one will ever hurt you again.”

“You can’t promise that,” Emma says softly. 

“The fuck I can’t,” Alyssa growls. “Anyone who wants to hurt you has to go through me.”

Emma nods and curls into Alyssa outstretched arms. She nestles her head onto Alyssa’s shoulder while her girlfriend starts to run her fingers through her hair, trying to calm her down.

“You are so beautiful,” Alyssa says softly, “Too beautiful for this world. I’m so lucky you’re mine.”

“Shut up,” Emma says, half-playful and half-serious.

“I mean it,” Alyssa insists, placing a gentle kiss on the top of her head. She holds onto Emma tightly, before continuing. “You are the most beautiful, perfect thing in my life. In this world. And anyone who makes you feel anything different can go fuck themself.”

Emma nods slightly, silently. A few minutes pass before Alyssa speaks again. “Thank you,” she whispers, “For trusting me.”

“I trust you absolutely,” Emma replies with a yawn. “Thank you for… for loving me, I guess.”

“Emma, how could I not?”


End file.
